Tuesday 31 January 2012

Untitled, just is!

The best time to make friends is well before you need them, so they say, so I suppose that means, all of the time really. I have always tried to open the door to friendship, some doors I have quickly closed again, some doors eventually and some never............ever.

A true friendship cant be broken, weakened or strained but it can be tested. Life is a test tho isnt it? I am not sure what the final qualification is or when we know we have achieved it. All I know is one thing and one thing I strive for in this life above all else is, to love and be loved. To know truly what both of those things mean and know I lived my life that way is the essence for me. I know this is important, my Dad told me so.

The last few weeks have been quite tough on a personal level, no need to elaborate further, as its all a bit tedious and of course relative, whats tough for me would not be tough for many of you, or indeed many in plight all over the world.

Funny how you learn who come forth to turn the difficult pages with you and those that retreat into the shadows....for whatever reason. Its all purposeful.

I still marvel at this journey, no experience is wasted. None.

My love is home tomorrow.

Think of what one heart is capable of, then be amazed at what two together can achieve.

I am ready for the adventure baby.

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Officially need to be an Air Head!

Its not that I dont have anything to say.

I have too much to say.

Lots going on, lovely things, fun things, challenging things, emotional things, practical things and plenty more of to-do things......... The head is busy.

I need the seeds of creativity to germinate and unfurl through the vestiges of my thoughts, feelings, sights, sounds, smells and taste. With no head room they sit there, in hope of ..... not water but air. Air is space and space is room and there is none in my head.

Our new home is directly opposite here!

When I have so much going on, it leaves no head room.

I love writing but I now realise I need head room to do it.

So I am going to confirm a long held impression of blondes and prove it right, in order to function at optimum, I have to be an AIR HEAD innit!

"20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didnt do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"
Mark Twain

Friday 6 January 2012

Believe there is another dimension

Cast your mind back, its 5th September 2010, Coco Palm Bodhu Hithi, the Maldives the day after I heard the news my Father had passed away

My Father had always wanted to try scuba diving, in fact he had booked a holiday in Egypt to do just that in the February but sadly that was one trip he was never going to make.

Keen to keep busy, Gareth and I went out for an early morning snorkel, a good time to do it before the sun becomes too fierce.

Within minutes of reaching the edge of the reef before dropping away to the deep blue, I was aware of a large and beautiful fish, resplendent in vibrant electric blue and gold stripes. It swam very close to me, and nose to nose we looked at each other. Gareth looked on the encounter.

Emperor Angel Fish, Just like the one that stalked me!

It had the sweetest face and it's mouth looked like it was permanently puckered for a kiss. This very fish continued to follow me closely for 40 minutes, I was amazed as was Gareth, as I have never experienced this before ever but I was very happy to have him with me!

Just for fun, I tried to shake him off by striking out with my flippers at full pelt but every time I thought I had lost him I would look left, then right and there he was again. Unbelievable.

It didnt want to follow Gareth. It was clearly following me.

Now shoals of fish are know to follow you when you are in scuba gear because they adore playing in the bubbles from your regulator and that is such a wonderful interaction to experience. But I wasnt in scuba gear, I was just snorkelling.

Shoals of fish love to play in a diver's bubbles from his regulator
Once back in the villa, I produced my book "Fish of the Maldives" and identified my stalker as an Emperor Angel Fish.

That afternoon we did go scuba diving and as we headed out on the boat with the dive master, I told him about my encounter with the Emperor Angel Fish.

"Oh no I dont think that would have been an Emperor" he said "You must have that wrong, they are very shy"

"Well this one was far from shy he followed me for 40 minutes"

The Dive Master laughed and said "Erm I dont think so!"

Gareth also supported my story and I described the fish to him.

"Well I am not saying your story isnt true but what I am saying is that it couldnt have been an Emperor" he insisted a tad irritated. ( well who am I to question his authority and knowledge)

We left it at that. But we both know it was and I felt that if this fish really was so shy by nature then surely I had been given a very special gift.

Now let me remind you of the date of this encounter. The day after my Father's death.

Then that night at dinner I had a EUREKA moment!!!

"Gareth, Gareth"  I gulped "That fish was either my Dad or a message from my Dad!"

"How much wine have you had Debbie?"

"No listen, I have just remembered Emperor in Tarot means Father. Today my Father was with me "The Father Angel". He never got to dive with the tropical fish as he so wanted to do so he was with me there and he is happy at peace, all is ok"

Call it coincidence, call it what you like but I know what I believe and remember what the Dive Master said, these fish are shy, well my Dad never was!

Monday 2 January 2012

Getting rid of Dreams

I’ve been cleaning out my wardrobe.

And I’m getting rid of a lot.

Of dreams.

Not because they are too big.

Not because they are too small either.

But because they aren’t right for me.

Here we are, at the beginning of a new year. Arguably, we begin a new year every day dont we?

So, in this week of celebration and contemplation I have spent some time reviewing my dreams.

They looked a lot like my wardrobe often looks – some areas on the rail crowded with bright colors  while other spots show gaps where my favorite wear-so-often-they-never-make-it-back-to-the-rail pieces are supposed to be.

Fancy-cocktail dresses are hung at the far end where they are seldom noticed, while walk-the-dog hoodies snuggle up to comfy sofa day jumpers and joggers.

I gave myself the same challenge I periodically use to clean out my wardrobe – “If you haven’t worn it in a year, if you don’t like the way it looks on you, if it worked for that one occasion but that occasion won’t ever come again, should it be taking up space in here?”

But the time comes – I have to let them go.

Because, really, that burnt orange shade is hideous on me.

That flouncy cocktail dress is pretty, but I don’t know where I would wear it.

That jacket looks good, but I’m always fussing with the sleeves.

That old thing really IS an old thing – it’s worn thin now and no miracle will make it look good again.

When I purge my wardrobe I let go of anything that doesn’t serve me, whether it fits me or doesn’t.

Time to do the same with my dreams.

That dream that someone else thought was perfect for me? Gone.

The one I so wanted to believe was real, until I saw the “faux” on the label? (That’s okay for leather and fur, but NOT okay for dreams.) Gone.

So what is left?

The true dreams. Not the dreams already come true, but the dreams that are truly mine.

Are some of them too big for me now? Probably. But I love them enough to try and grow into them.

Are some of them so bright and bold that I have a moment of doubt, wondering if others will judge me for choosing them? Of course. But I love how I feel when I wear them, and that is the only judgment that matters.

..............by Debbie Tamblyn-Jones

Are some of them a little revealing? Sure. But I have nothing to hide.

I’m keeping only the dreams that make me feel good, that make me feel like the me I like best. I’m keeping the dreams that make me feel like dancing, like running, like jumping for joy.

Everything else has to go.

Because when you choose your dreams, it isn’t about dreaming big.

It’s about dreaming true.

For you.