Thursday, 2 June 2011

Calamity Jones strikes again

A cracked rib isnt nice is it? Has it ever happened to you? Am I right in concluding that it is extremely painful - would you agree?

In fact I have found it's most debilitating and practically everything you do hurts muchly. Including typing. It's imperative all sneezes are stifled, otherwise pain of medieval tortuous proportions ensue, breathing, coughing, lifting, pushing absolutely everything you do results in an eye scrunching wince.

How? A recreational accident but not of the Lesley Ash genre!

Playing ball with Radders, Hubster, ala Wayne Rooney stylee, connected full on with my rib cage instead of the ball. GOAL!!!

Hubster needed more consoling than me, he was mortified.

Two days of stupidly braving it out and a trip to outpatients confirmed the damage. Nothing to be done but a super-duper dose of super strength  painkillers. Woo hoo! Ground control to Major Tom.

Anyway as well as that little visit to Oakham memorial hospital, I did this yesterday

Yum yum!!
You are required to lower your plates of meat into a fish tank where 125 Garra Rufa Fish will await. Waiting to attach themselves to your tootsies and rid you of your hard skin.

Cue music to Jaws the movie!

My thoughts were?

1. Do they have teeth?
No, they suck the dead skin off. (Nice eh?)

2. Will it tickle?
Yup, very much at first but then you get used to it.

3. Is it hygienic?
"oh yes" retorts therapist with some force "only clean feet free of verruccas and athletes foot, without body lotion or nail varnish are allowed and we clean the tank out twice a day!" I was still relieved my feet were first up for submersion that day tbh!

4. Does it do the job?
Ish, you still cant beat a hot bath and a loofah and it doesnt cost you £30

5. Is it a fad?
Oh abso - flippin - lutely. We will be laughing our socks off in a few years time that we got "sucked" in, get it?

The Bahamas Bikini Battle is on!

Staying at the One and Only Ocean Club for 5 days so 3 will be enough do you think?

And before you start, slim girls DO get muffin tops and cellulite a plenty. Lost the cellulite battle a while back, fake tan helps a lot. However, the muffin top is my challenge.

However, I am miffed as ribs will prevent me from doing this! Which I love.

I digress.

The battle plan.

Lots of this ....

and even more of this!

and a fair dose of this with the fur-babies with mindset adopted too!

Bundles of rib tickling sympathy most welcome, as well as any muffin top tips!

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